This time last year, I was actively mourning the loss of a very early pregnancy. When I realized in July that I was pregnant again, it didn’t take me long to figure out the dates and realize that this baby would be coming very close to the loss of the other one. I didn’t really feel like my previous pregnancy resulted in a baby, per se, both because a) what I saw resembled nothing close to a baby form and b) it happened so quickly I barely had time to wrap my head around being pregnant, let alone envision an actual baby.
The closer I get to meeting this little one, though, the more I can’t help but think about the other one and wonder what happened, what could have been, etc. I also can’t help feeling like there is some purpose in all of this, some lesson maybe, that I am supposed to get. Maybe it’s just coincidence, I certainly didn’t plan to have a baby at this time (we were planning to try a few months later). In any case, having this baby now seems like I am completing some kind of circle.