It has been obvious to me for quite some time that one of the hardships of motherhood can be the isolation felt when you’re home alone with only your children ALL DAY LONG. I feel that in order for compassionate motherhood to survive, we must have support. We need community, friends, family, etc. It does truly take a village to raise a child. So, here is my version of Mommy Utopia.
Mommy Utopia consists of many families all working together for the common good. Each woman has a responsibility to herself, her family, and the community she lives in. Families are not spread out as they are here. Most families live within an easy child’s walk from each other. Every day, the women gather in a central spot to visit and work. “Work” consists of whatever is needed at the time.
I can see it, in my mind’s eye. I can see the community of women gathered together day in and day out. I can see them helping each other through early adulthood, dating, marriage, pregnancy and birth, parenting, and later, helping each other meet the end with grace. The babies are always on mama, either hip or back. The older children play close by, content with their games. Each woman has her task, but they work together to get them all accomplished. They share their stories, their mother’s stories, their grandmother’s stories. They still remember them and are sure to pass them on to the next generation. Wisdom flows from them and into them.
It wasn’t so long ago that this was reality for most women. In fact, in the time span of human history, it is only very recently that we are so fragmented and independent of our ancestry. I long for that other time. I am certain that there were hardships, but there was also a strong community to draw from when those hardships arose.
Women knew their power then. Women knew how to mother without books, experts, or doctors. They learned through being present while their siblings were raised, from stories the elder women told them from birth, and through celebrations during certain milestones. Having a baby was a natural part of life, not a disease or scary medical condition. New mothers were supported during the dizzying frenzy of postpartum.
Mommy Utopia, or rather Woman Utopia, is possible. I am seeking it in the relationships I cultivate within my community. These relationships that sustain, nurture, fulfill, and support me. I wish all women the joy of “finding your tribe”, of realizing that your worth is not directly related to your children or spouse, of creating sacred space in whatever way works for you. Reach for it and hold on tight, you deserve it!
I am woman, hear me ROAR.